This time last year I was writing about Fear.
I was writing about how much fear I was facing entering into the year 2019. BUT I wasn’t entering into 2019 afraid!
I entered 2019 as a Conqueror, as a Fighter, Ready to grab his life back. I took chances and chose to lean into those fears with a determination that I will come out on top and will live a full life once again!
I am SO Grateful for the Support and for the LOVE everyone has shown me throughout my treatments.
As it turns out, I was sick for decades, unknowingly, and it has completely changed who I am, inside and out. It took finding a great LLMD
, who is also my PCP, to get me access to some sort of relief. She connected me with The Dean Center for Tick Borne Illness and since 2014, I have treated with oral antibiotics, herbal protocols, and I did 13 months of IV antibiotics prior to travelling to Germany 11 months ago for whole body hyperthermia treatment and plasmapheresis.
Needless to say, it’s been quite the journey. I feel SO, SO MUCH BETTER! I no longer have active Lyme Disease in my body, my co-infections are better and my viral loads are low.
I am no longer on medications … well, for the time being.
With years of Lyme, comes major damages to my central nervous system and to my brain. I am currently working with my PCP and my autonomic neurologist in Boston to work on repairing the damages that Lyme has caused on my body and to my brain (we are looking into IVIG and possible other therapies that help treat symptoms of MS). My main issues now are persistent neck and back pain, numbness and tingling in my arms and legs, lose of sensation on my left side (like, I am not ticklish at all on my left side, but super sensitive on my right…weird, I know), and wavering anxiety and concentration issues.
In 2019 I have found love, when I didn’t think it would ever be possible. I was sick for so long and in a very dark place. I had to get myself to a better place, internally, to allow myself to love someone wholeheartedly. Sometimes I ask myself why he sticks around, but I know that I am very lucky to have his support. I often wonder if it’s tough for them to provide support (“them” being caregivers in general). I know sometimes I can be irrational and a bit unreasonable due to what is going on inside my body…but Hey! he still supports me and at the end of the day he is still there to hold me. Lyme and co-infections can be so isolating. Not many understand what we go through until they go through it first hand.
Personally, throughout my experience with Lyme, I have done a lot of self growth. And more recently, I have focused on my inner soul and overall inner happiness. It can often be so dark in the Lyme Life but making joy out of the pain is often all we need to to do to allow ourselves to overcome the hurdles right at our feet. I think that keeping positive has really helped me get to the point I am today. I find that writing about my experience has been really helpful for me. I am a singer in a band, but I have shifted my music writing to more telling about my experience with Lyme. I want to offer guidance and words of happiness … because we all know … kindness goes a LONG way!
2020 will be focused love and healing! I am looking forward to all the new year has to offer.
Much love and Happy New Year!