December 5, 2018 – #laterblog
All day long I have been thinking about what I wanted to write about today, I was kind of stressing about it. Then it dawned on me, I knew all along. Recently, I have been having lots of challenges with anxiety. I mean, I was stressing about what I wanted to write about; Why? For what reason?
For me, anxiety tends to come in waves, sometimes it feels like a tidal wave. With Lyme this is a common thing, but in this great thing we call “Life” it is all over the place, it’s everywhere you look, in the eyes of a stranger, and in the hearts of our loved ones. Anxiety is so wide spread and it has so many layers to it that it can be very confusing to those who are affected by it.
In times of great confusion, it can all suddenly feel so heavy. I tend to stress about the little things, the things that are of minor importance, and especially things that I cannot control. If there is anything that therapy has taught me, it’s how to better cope with these feelings. I am still working on my tendency to go to the worst-case scenarios right off the bat. I find myself being much more aware when I get to this point, so, I know it’s something that will take me time to master.
I had a conversation with my father this morning just because I needed someone to talk with and I needed to get back down to Earth. I used to never reach out like that and never ask for help. Like most, I would bottle up my emotions and then explode out of the blue, or just breakdown alone at home. The stress I would carry would wreak havoc on my body. Today, I knew that I just needed to talk with someone and my Dad was there. He offered me lots of comfort, and I am grateful for all the support that I am offered from my all of my family and my dear friends. Sometimes that is all we need to do when we get into this state.
We just need to make that call, knock on that door, reach out via email, or text someone for a quick chat. It can make a world of difference.
Still, even when you get this comfort and you make that connection it can still be hard to put the anxiety at bay for the remainder of your day. That pit full of butterflies in your stomach doesn’t really ever go away, your focus at work is drained; it’s par none, and you can’t really focus on anything. At this point, we have to take a moment for ourselves, just let any and all thoughts come in and then immediately let them go, just let them pass right by. They say that meditation is best for moments like this, but I personally have a hard time with meditating. I think it’s because the silence is too loud in my ears with all the ringing. So, I prefer to take a drive, or just listen to a favorite song on repeat and belt it out.
Like my Dad told me, and Hell, like I have said before, in moments like these we must focus on the good in our lives. We cannot think about what we don’t have and how much we’re struggling, because that will only turn into a vicious cycle. Think about the great blessing we have, even the fact we have a heartbeat. We are able to feel anxiety because we are complex beings, maybe even that is a blessing!
Throughout each day we become stronger than the last and we learn valuable lessons, good and bad. We must keep a clear eye on the positive and believe that the universe will pay us back in miraculous ways. We don’t need to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders and longer. We just need to let it go and reach high for greatness in our lives!
“Look up at the stars and not down at your feet.” S.Hawking
*Please remember that if you are struggling and need to talk with someone there is FREE Help Available!
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources. CALL: 800-273-8255 https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Crisis Text Line allows you to text from anywhere in the USA with a trained Crisis Counselor: TEXT: 741741 https://www.crisistextline.org/